As you know I have recently returned from an 18 month mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in the Philippines Angeles Mission. It's been almost a month since I've been home and many of you may be wondering the same thing: HOW ARE YOU ADJUSTING?! Well, to be honest, adjusting as an RM in America when you've spent 18 months in a 3rd world country is just about as awkward feeling as wearing denim overalls to the White House Inaugural Ball. It just doesn't feel right and you can't quite fit in no matter what you say.
FOR EXAMPLE
ENGLISH: my English has completely gone to crap. I now speak with some weird ghetto accent to overcompensate for my lack of confidence in English. And when I am in situations where I know I can't fudge my way through English (like a job interview for further examples) I have to sit and think for about 10 seconds before I finally figure out what it is I want to say in ENGLISH before I speak to the person who asked me a question.
TECHNOLOGY: In my mission, we had old school brick cell phones, we hand-washed our laundry, we hand-washed dishes, and we only used the Microsoft Vista programmed computers once a week to email our family/friends. When I came home, I couldn't remember how to use a WASHER AND DRYER and you all expect me to be brilliant on an iPhone?! Sorry, it's not happening. My whole technology brain got shut down and locked down while in the Philippines. Not saying that they don't have those things in the Philippines, because they do, but we didn't in our missionary apartments/lives! Now I'm learning that microsoft is up to Windows 8 or higher, iPhones come in colors now, cell phone plans can be individual or with friends/strangers now, and my 2 year old cousin can hack into a cell phone faster than I can...actually I can't so she's way ahead of me.
I'M ALONE: I haven't been alone for 18 months. AS IN other than going to the bathroom, I have not spent a SECOND alone in 18 months. The morning after I was released, my mom and I decided to go walking. I said, "I think I'm going to run a little" and so I go. Then I realized I was alone. I couldn't find my companion. Panic quickly set in. "Oh no...President is going to be so mad I lost my companion! What if she does something stupid?! What if she gets kidnapped?! OH MY GOODNESS I FORGOT MY NAMETAG TOO!!! WHAT IF I GET KIDNAPPED?!!!" And it continues. Then after about 3 minutes of eternity, the realization hits me that 1.) I don't have a companion 2.) I don't need my nametag anymore 3.) President is not going to get mad and no one is going to get kidnapped 4.) I am accountable for my own actions and not another person's. Being alone and making decisions for myself is probably the weirdest feeling I have currently...second to that is...
BOYS: I can hug boys now and it's weird. It's one of those things you don't really think that much about while on your mission because you're too busy/sweaty/smelly to care. But now I am home and suddenly all these boys want to hug me and I'm like, "AH! I CAN'T! I'M A....dang it...I'm not a missionary anymore...can't use that excuse..." and then I'm trapped in an awkward/long hug from someone I don't really care that much about and, try as I might, cannot get free. Once I am finally free from a hug of death, I quickly say a few short sentences and find myself inching further and further away from them while they are inching closer and closer to myself. Then I say one last thing and run for the nearest exit. Hopefully this dies down eventually.
As you can see, I have just become a big, messy, heap of awkward rolled into one 24 year old girl. Then throw in my culture shock and there you have me. So to ask the question again, "HOW ARE YOU ADJUSTING?" I think would be best describe in a small story for you all:
Last week I went to the grocery store and pharmacy to buy groceries and hair/skin care products. While in the grocery store I was attempting to buy vegetables/meat for a specific meal--just one meal--and tried buying carrots. There was only a giant bag of 15 BIG carrots available. I asked to myself, but it came out loudly, "WHY CAN'T I JUST BUY 3 CARROTS?! I DON'T NEED 15!" Then I moved on to meat. I thought, "Oh good, I'll just buy a 1/2kg of chicken and be on my way." NO MA'AM. You need to buy a huge package of chicken that basically has breasts from 8 different chickens in it because there's no way one chicken could have that many breasts. Again, I asked myself, but out loud, "WHY CAN'T I JUST BUY 1/2KG OF CHICKEN? WHO NEEDS THIS MUCH CHICKEN?! WHERE'S PALENGKE?! WHERE ARE THE FLIES AND PEOPLE CHOPPING UP WHOLE PIGS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME?! WHERE AM I?!!" After finding something that had a little chicken in it and was a relatively low price (but basically cost over 100 pesos just from my mind), I gave up and decided to go buy shampoo and face wash.
While looking at the shampoo I was overwhelmed by the SHELVES of options. 10+ brands to choose from, each with 10+ options of types of shampoo for 10+ different types of head/hair and about 100+ different scents. So of course, sensory overload is kicking in. I start thinking, "Ok...in the Philippines I used Head & Shoulders, Vaseline (sometimes), and Pantene (if desperate for hair help); those are international brands, I'll be able to find something no problem!" I was wrong. I am looking at the Head & Shoulders section and confusion washes over my face as I see about 20 different types and scents of the shampoo and not ONE of them was even CLOSE to what I used in the Philippines. I go to a 3rd world country with limited options and can find something to fix my hair no problem--here, I'm in a 1st world country with MILLIONS of options and I can't find anything to fix my hair. WHAT? After awhile I gave up and grabbed a bottle and said, "Hopefully this doesn't make my hair fall out." Then I moved on to face wash. In my head I thought, "This should be easier...all I need is anti-bacterial face wash. It doesn't even matter what brand it is; basta kung anti-bac, ayos lang sa akin!" So I go to the "skin care" aisle and my sensory overload takes a new level. I am now in SUPER sensory overload times a million. Once again I was faced with about 10+ different brands to choose from, all of which had 10+ different types of facial wash for 10+ different types of skin. And not one of them said anything clearly. It was all, "Salicylic Acid treatment without BURNING!" "Anti-breakout!" "Gentle Cleanse for Sensitive Skin!" "Age Defying!" "Pimple BLASTING!" "Free scrubby attached!" and more. I was like, "What does this even mean?! I just need something anti-bacterial to kill the stuff growing on my face!" In the Philippines I used Eskinol or Ponds Anti-bacterial Face Wash after washing my face with an anti-bacterial bar of soap from SafeGuard. PONDS IS INTERNATIONAL...WHERE IS IT? Well here, Ponds just sells makeup remover wipes. At least at the store I was at that's all I found. I sat in the aisle in confusion and defeat. Hopelessly, I pulled out my iPhone (which I still can't use very quickly because my tech brain lags) and I Google searched "Anti-bacterial face wash". The best results showed up being available at a mall...and it was over $10 for a bottle of just anti-bacterial face wash...which in pesos is like 400 pesos for a bottle of face wash. I couldn't do it. I put my phone away, looked at the shelf, picked the cheapest bottle of Cetaphil I could find and walked to the checkout completely defeated by endless options and confusion.
I feel like it's my first week in the Philippines again, except all of a sudden they raised prices and changed the language without telling me. To say that I miss the Philippines would be a serious understatement. I miss palengke, I miss low prices for everything (and haggling!), I miss clear labels on products that actually help meet needs, and I REALLY miss stores that only have a few options that are totally solid and good instead of millions of options that are all useless.
So, for a third time, to ask, "HOW ARE YOU ADJUSTING?" I guess the best way to explain it is about as well as Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls moving from Africa to the USA and becoming friends with the Plastics within her first week. Crazy, tribal visions, and completely foreign, but really funny to watch/experience. Yeah, about that well. Thanks for asking :)
