Tonight was just like any other Sunday night in the Duchene household.  Come home from church, eat, and pop in a movie or watch a show on Hulu/Netflix.  Tonight after watching a new favorite, Mirror Mirror, we decided to watch something a little different on Netflix: The Justin Beiber movie Never Say Never. Now I have to say I did NOT want to watch this movie, but the madre’s interest was peaked and there was no turning back.  So we start watching and I’m immediately thinking to myself, “Oh my gosh, I’m watching Justin Beiber.  I’m so ashamed of myself.  What will my friends think? Oh heavens, some of them LIKE him and the others, oh I will never hear the end of this…”  There were clips of him as a baby, growing up (all 16 years of it…) and his “struggle” to break out (his “struggle” was all of like 2 years.  Big whoop, you’re still young.)  So then they show the screaming fans.  I instantly die laughing.  Throngs of screaming, hormone-raged pre-teens, teens, and moms are trying to fight their way through a crowd and barricades to get to him. Girls are crying, screaming, breaking metal doors open with their bare hands and what am I doing?  Laughing.  Hysterically.  Then they cut to a concert of his where he sings to a girl who is a complete chocolate mess onstage bawling her eyes out and he gives her roses.  It’s genuinely sweet to see it, but at the same time, hilarious. 

Then something happens…the madre turns to me and goes, “What would Tracy do at a concert if the headliner sang to her?”  Then I realized something: I would be that crying girl.  It’s true.  Here I am, a twenty-something year old woman who would instantly be reduced to a thirteen year old girl crying onstage at a concert.  BUT, let me emphasize this: it would not be a Justin Beiber concert.  In fact, I could think of about 5 concerts that would reduce me to a chocolate mess, bawling onstage, ugly crying, and being a thirteen year old and oddly enough, 4 out of 5 are boy bands.  So now that we have come to this point, I have a confession to make:

I, Tracy Lee Duchene, being of relatively sound mind and body, love boy bands. 

And my 5 concerts go as follows:

1.) NSYNC

2.) Backstreet Boys

3.) Jonas Brothers

4.) New Kids on the Block

5.) Spice Girls (didn’t see that one coming huh?)

THERE!  I said it! Now the whole world knows.  Not that my whole world didn’t already know, but in case anyone was wondering, there’s the truth.  I love boy bands.  I always have.  I will always and forever have a soft, special place for boy bands in my heart.

I guess you could say it started when I was an infant and my sister would dance around the house singing and dancing to New Kids on the Block.  I’m fairly certain she greatly wore out that cassette tape.  Or maybe it was my mom singing (off-key) to The Osmonds, Monkees, and Beatles, some of the boy bands of her life.  I don’t know where it started exactly, but I do know that it will never end, and I will always be a thirteen year old when it comes to them. 

When my sister and I were younger, at the peak of the Backstreet/NSYNC rivalry, she clearly chose Backstreet and I was a little closer to NSYNC, but we had a large grey area where we listened to and loved both bands.  You could say that our house was neutral territory for the rivalry.  Howie Dorough from Backstreet was my 1^st love and Chris Kirkpatrick was my 2^nd.  TO THIS DAY if I hear Chris Kirkpatrick on XL 106.7 in Orlando, it takes me EVERYTHING in me not to drop everything, drive to the studio and kick in some doors screaming his name like a possessed psychopath.  Not that I think I would actually be able to do anything other than cry and giggle like a thirteen year old, but the fact that I would be in the same room as him would be enough for me to have a complete brain aneurism and die right there.

Last summer, the madre, my sister, and I went to the NKOTBSB concert at the Amway Center.  It was THE BEST concert I’ve been to ever. Hands down.  Backstreet reunited (minus Kevin, but who really liked him anyways?) and sang ALL their classic songs and NKOTB reunited and sang all their classics.  And they ALL looked HELLA good.  Um, HELLA HELLA HELLA GOOD.  Nick is finally sober, Brian doesn’t have heart issues anymore, AJ is sober, Howie is perfect (like always), Donny Wahlberg is DANG FINE, Joey is still adorable, Jordan can still sing the high notes perfectly, and Jonathan and Danny still look super fly.  Oh lordy and when they combined forces and became NKOTBSB, it was like, oh my gosh.  Can’t even describe it in words.  JUST AMAZING.  Oh, and guess who were special guests? BOYS TO MEN.  BAM.  Yeah, it made it even better.  It was legit the best night ever.  I died and went to heaven.  I couldn’t speak the next day at work because my voice was gone from screaming so much.  It was worth it.

 

The only other epic concert of epicness that I can describe from my boy band love was the Jonas Brothers concert of 2008.  My Best Friend, Nicoleon, brought me with her and we were the only people there without a chaperone.  Everyone around us had a mom with them and was under the age of fifteen, easily.  Then there was us, the eighteen year olds, probably more excited than they were.  We went in, screamed like you would NOT believe, and had the best time.  I am forever grateful to Nicoleon for taking me to that concert with her, it was a glorious night of boy bandiness that I will never forget. To Nicoleon: remember when they sang about NH in the song and we instantly turned thirteen and said, “OMG, WE’RE FROM NH!  WE’RE IN NH! OMG! WE’RE BETTER THAN CALIFORNIA!!!!”  Yeah, I always think of that when I STILL listen to that CD.

This summer, I have discovered that I love another boy band, yet again, a new love has sprung.  They’re a little band called One Direction, I don’t know if anyone’s heard of them, but I love them. (Please note the sarcasm…of course you’ve heard of them.) Anyways, every time one of their songs comes on the radio, I BLAST it.  If I go deaf prematurely, it will be at the fault of boy bands and how much I love them.  I love One Direction.  I don’t know why!  They’re like, at least, 4 years younger than me, I don’t know any of their names, but their music takes me back to that thirteen year old feeling, and I’m not ashamed.  I am proud of my love of boy bands.  No matter how much my taste in music changes (and it has changed a lot), I always go back to the boy bands and the solo boy artists a la Nick Lachey, Justin Timberlake, Ryan Cabrera, Jesse McCartney, and Michael Bublé. 

So now it is past midnight, I work today (Monday), and what am I doing when I should be sleeping?  Blogging about boy bands while listening to my Backstreet Boys station on iheartradio.com.  Yeah.  This love runs deep.  I love boy bands more than sleeping.  That’s what’s up.

“Grow Up.”  Two words that I think I have heard more times than I can count in my lifetime.  When used by an adult, it usually is implied that they want you to stop bugging, bothering, burdening, and/or disappointing them so you can mature into a self-reliant adult.  When used by teenagers or peers, however, the definition is more of a “pull your self together” sort of phrase.  An encouragement to become as “mature” as those around you or a dig at why you are so far behind everyone else on the maturity ladder.  

I’m not ashamed to admit it that I have heard that phrase just as often as I have given it out.  I am, by no stretch of the imagination, a self-sufficient/mature adult.  I still live at home, I’m working at a job, not on a career, and I just finished college and am buried under a mountain of debt that is roughly $48K.  Am I feeling grown up yet?  Eh, not really.

But with the term “Grow Up”, I have learned a few things that are more implied things everyone should know when they enter adulthood.  Some of them are physical, most of them are mental and all about maturity.  They're the "common sense" sort of things that are never written down anywhere or outright told to anyone because they're things that everyone should basically know inherently.  I don’t profess to be the most mature person in the world, but I do have my moments of maturity.  I also was born with this wisdom of inherent common sense and wish to impart some of my wisdom to the world that is lacking common sense.  People of the world lacking common sense: take notes.

1.) Being 18 doesn’t entitle you to the same level of respect as a 30 year old.  Just because you have left the realm of High School and are entering young adult status, it doesn’t mean I need to/have to treat you like a mature adult.  Act your age and you will get the respect your age deserves; act younger/older, you will be treated accordingly. 

2.) When at a job, treat your employers (supervisors, managers, and the company) with respect.  You are being paid to do a job: do it.  If you do it well, you’ll be rewarded.  If you do it poorly, you will be punished.  Guess what?  That’s what happens in real life.  Everyone around you is being paid to do exactly what you are doing and if someone is doing more than you, the people in charge notice that and wonder why you aren’t doing it too.  Keep it in mind, it’ll get you ahead.  Take it from someone who knows.

3.) When at a job, if you dislike any of your coworkers or employers/bosses, you still have to respect them.  This isn’t High School anymore where you can ignore them, say rude things to them, have loud and ridiculous confrontations, or even get physical and fight, and then get away with just a warning.  You do that, you will leave with no job and a possible criminal charge, depending on what happens.  Know well enough to respect them while at work and then vent about them as much as you want to off the clock in the privacy of your HOME.  Never on social media, never in a blog, never in an email or text.  Anything in writing can be held against you and sometimes you send things to the wrong person…remember that anyone can press SEND by mistake.

4.) When working, your number one priority is working.  It’s not flirting; that’s what clubs are for.  If you want to get paid to flirt, I’m sure you can find a pimp in your city. 

5.) Stop taking things personally.  Unless someone is in your face telling you offensive things about you personally, let it go!  So what if someone complimented someone next to you instead of you.  Deal with it, stop being butt hurt and get over it!  Not everything is about you.  I know it’s shocking, right?  Some things are out of your control, and it’s okay. 

6.) COMMUNICATION IS KEY.  Communicate in full sentences rationally.  If you need something, use your words.  If you don’t like something, think before you speak, and say it nicely.  Another important facet of communication is LISTENING.  If someone is speaking to you, LISTEN.  If you’re arguing about something, LISTEN TO THE OTHER SIDE AND THEN VOICE YOUR SIDE WHEN THEY ARE DONE!  Don’t shout over one another!  ONE AT A TIME!  Yelling over one another is for children and classless people.  Pretend to have class and listen to others.

7.) Sometimes you have to go to bed early.  Sometimes you have to sacrifice partying to go to bed early for a job, an appointment, a meeting, etc. the next day.  Sleep.  It makes you alert, healthy, and beautiful.  Who doesn’t want to be better looking?

8.) Pull yourself together: Be Clean, Be On Time, Be Prepared.

                -BE CLEAN: Nobody likes people who smell badly.  It’s a fact of life.  Who remembers that one kid in elementary/middle school who had “the smell” because they refused to exercise good hygiene practices?  We ALL had one.  Don’t be that person.  Adults don’t want to work with that person and employers don’t want to employ that person to represent their company.  Be clean.

                -BE ON TIME: Being late was cute when you were a kid and couldn’t tell time.  You’re an adult now and all clocks that people use are digital now.  You have no excuse for being late anymore.  If you’re going to be late to something, call ahead and give a warning (half an hour in advance is best).  There’s a saying in theatre that pretty much sums it up: “If you’re five minutes early, you’re on time.  If you’re on time, you’re late.  If you’re five minutes late, you have been recast.” Just remember that for other life situations. BE ON TIME.

                -BE PREPARED: This can range anywhere from having gas in your tank to paying your bills on time.  With every bill you pay on time, your credit score improves which means you can buy a car/house one day.  Having gas in your car means you’ll never break down in the middle of nowhere and falling victim to a roadside serial killer.  Have money in your account or wallet or car for emergencies like a tire going flat, breaking a shoe, etc.  Be ready for meetings (know what you’re going into and be prepared to answer any questions they may ask you).  BE PREPARED.

9.) Dress like an adult.  I don’t mean wear your grandma’s muumuus or mom jeans or your dad’s knee socks and sandals.  I mean dress age appropriate.  If you’re 35 and wearing graffic tees everyday that say things like “Team Jacob” or “I Heart Peeta” you should really change something about your life…like stop reading J-14 magazine or listening to Justin Beiber and maybe start shopping in the misses section of  Kohl’s instead of the Juniors.  Wear things that bring out the best qualities in you.  Know your shape, what flaws you want to cover and what assets you want to accentuate.  Know what colors flatter you and what colors wash you out.  Learn about fashion!  It’s so easy!  Watch “What Not To Wear” online and read their tips!  Read Cosmo for heaven’s sakes.  Stop looking like a messy teen and start dressing like you care a tiny bit for yourself. 

10.) Take care of your personal belongings.  Keep your home/apartment/room relatively clean.  If you’re messy, keep the mess but get rid of the crusty plates on the floor.  Make sure no bugs/rodents are living there with you.  Clean out your car every now and then (vacuum it, wash it, throw trash out) and get your oil changed on time.  It will last longer if you take as good care of it as you would yourself or a baby. 

11.) Realize there are other people in the world besides you.  The world doesn’t revolve around you, believe it or not, and they matter too.  Serve others and it’ll come back to you.  Care about other people in real life, not just on Facebook.

12.) KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND STICK WITH IT.  It’s not worth it to change yourself to fit in with everyone.  You are who you are and there’s no way around it.  Find yourself!  Discover new bands, movies, books, places, styles, etc. until you find the ones that you like the most.  It doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing or likes if you hate those things.  Never sacrifice who you are for anyone.  Anyone who really loves you and cares for you will accept you for who you are and help you to improve those amazing qualities you already have.  LOVE YOURSELF.

13.) NEVER take your age too seriously.  I know that sounds like a huge contradiction to everything I just typed but it’s true!  You may be 12 or 72 but just because you may be a certain age it doesn’t define who you are.  You are still fun, serious, dumb, smart, adventurous, scared, brave, silly, etc.  Age is just a number.  Age just says how long you’ve been on earth.  It doesn’t say anything about how much you’ve experienced or changed.  I’m 22 and have my moments where I still act like a 13 year old girl.  You’ll always have something that makes you revert to old behaviors and that’s what makes you who you are.  Love it and keep it!

All of these things are what I think it takes to grow up.  Like I said earlier, I am in no way mature all the time.  I still have a hard time respecting people I don't like, swallowing mean things I want to say or serving others.  But I know that when I do respect people I don't like, hold my tongue when I could just as easily let something horrible loose or serve someone, I feel a lot better about life and I am definitely blessed for doing so.  I don't know everything.  I still have a lot of growing up to do and things to learn.  But in the time that I've been alive, I’ve figured out some things and I'm sure more is coming.  But for now, I’ve gone from a litte girl playing dress up…

To an awkward teenager who can't dress herself…

To a complete dork…

And Finally to THIS.  A college graduate and somewhat productive member of society…

But still able to proudly get her "Disney Princess On" at Magic Kingdom like a 6 year old…