Rainbow Unicorns and Real Life

“Grow Up.” Two words that I think I have heard more times than I can count in my lifetime. When used by an adult, it usually is implied that they want you to stop bugging, bothering, burdening, and/or disappointing them so you can mature into a self-reliant adult. When used by teenagers or peers, however, the definition is more of a “pull your self together” sort of phrase. An encouragement to become as “mature” as those around you or a dig at why you are so far behind everyone else on the maturity ladder.

I’m not ashamed to admit it that I have heard that phrase just as often as I have given it out. I am, by no stretch of the imagination, a self-sufficient/mature adult. I still live at home, I’m working at a job, not on a career, and I just finished college and am buried under a mountain of debt that is roughly $48K. Am I feeling grown up yet? Eh, not really.

But with the term “Grow Up”, I have learned a few things that are more implied things everyone should know when they enter adulthood. Some of them are physical, most of them are mental and all about maturity. They're the "common sense" sort of things that are never written down anywhere or outright told to anyone because they're things that everyone should basically know inherently. I don’t profess to be the most mature person in the world, but I do have my moments of maturity. I also was born with this wisdom of inherent common sense and wish to impart some of my wisdom to the world that is lacking common sense. People of the world lacking common sense: take notes.

1.) Being 18 doesn’t entitle you to the same level of respect as a 30 year old. Just because you have left the realm of High School and are entering young adult status, it doesn’t mean I need to/have to treat you like a mature adult. Act your age and you will get the respect your age deserves; act younger/older, you will be treated accordingly.

2.) When at a job, treat your employers (supervisors, managers, and the company) with respect. You are being paid to do a job: do it. If you do it well, you’ll be rewarded. If you do it poorly, you will be punished. Guess what? That’s what happens in real life. Everyone around you is being paid to do exactly what you are doing and if someone is doing more than you, the people in charge notice that and wonder why you aren’t doing it too. Keep it in mind, it’ll get you ahead. Take it from someone who knows.

3.) When at a job, if you dislike any of your coworkers or employers/bosses, you still have to respect them. This isn’t High School anymore where you can ignore them, say rude things to them, have loud and ridiculous confrontations, or even get physical and fight, and then get away with just a warning. You do that, you will leave with no job and a possible criminal charge, depending on what happens. Know well enough to respect them while at work and then vent about them as much as you want to off the clock in the privacy of your HOME. Never on social media, never in a blog, never in an email or text. Anything in writing can be held against you and sometimes you send things to the wrong person…remember that anyone can press SEND by mistake.

4.) When working, your number one priority is working. It’s not flirting; that’s what clubs are for. If you want to get paid to flirt, I’m sure you can find a pimp in your city.

5.) Stop taking things personally. Unless someone is in your face telling you offensive things about you personally, let it go! So what if someone complimented someone next to you instead of you. Deal with it, stop being butt hurt and get over it! Not everything is about you. I know it’s shocking, right? Some things are out of your control, and it’s okay.

6.) COMMUNICATION IS KEY. Communicate in full sentences rationally. If you need something, use your words. If you don’t like something, think before you speak, and say it nicely. Another important facet of communication is LISTENING. If someone is speaking to you, LISTEN. If you’re arguing about something, LISTEN TO THE OTHER SIDE AND THEN VOICE YOUR SIDE WHEN THEY ARE DONE! Don’t shout over one another! ONE AT A TIME! Yelling over one another is for children and classless people. Pretend to have class and listen to others.

7.) Sometimes you have to go to bed early. Sometimes you have to sacrifice partying to go to bed early for a job, an appointment, a meeting, etc. the next day. Sleep. It makes you alert, healthy, and beautiful. Who doesn’t want to be better looking?

8.) Pull yourself together: Be Clean, Be On Time, Be Prepared.

-BE CLEAN: Nobody likes people who smell badly. It’s a fact of life. Who remembers that one kid in elementary/middle school who had “the smell” because they refused to exercise good hygiene practices? We ALL had one. Don’t be that person. Adults don’t want to work with that person and employers don’t want to employ that person to represent their company. Be clean.

-BE ON TIME: Being late was cute when you were a kid and couldn’t tell time. You’re an adult now and all clocks that people use are digital now. You have no excuse for being late anymore. If you’re going to be late to something, call ahead and give a warning (half an hour in advance is best). There’s a saying in theatre that pretty much sums it up: “If you’re five minutes early, you’re on time. If you’re on time, you’re late. If you’re five minutes late, you have been recast.” Just remember that for other life situations. BE ON TIME.

-BE PREPARED: This can range anywhere from having gas in your tank to paying your bills on time. With every bill you pay on time, your credit score improves which means you can buy a car/house one day. Having gas in your car means you’ll never break down in the middle of nowhere and falling victim to a roadside serial killer. Have money in your account or wallet or car for emergencies like a tire going flat, breaking a shoe, etc. Be ready for meetings (know what you’re going into and be prepared to answer any questions they may ask you). BE PREPARED.

9.) Dress like an adult. I don’t mean wear your grandma’s muumuus or mom jeans or your dad’s knee socks and sandals. I mean dress age appropriate. If you’re 35 and wearing graffic tees everyday that say things like “Team Jacob” or “I Heart Peeta” you should really change something about your life…like stop reading J-14 magazine or listening to Justin Beiber and maybe start shopping in the misses section of Kohl’s instead of the Juniors. Wear things that bring out the best qualities in you. Know your shape, what flaws you want to cover and what assets you want to accentuate. Know what colors flatter you and what colors wash you out. Learn about fashion! It’s so easy! Watch “What Not To Wear” online and read their tips! Read Cosmo for heaven’s sakes. Stop looking like a messy teen and start dressing like you care a tiny bit for yourself.

10.) Take care of your personal belongings. Keep your home/apartment/room relatively clean. If you’re messy, keep the mess but get rid of the crusty plates on the floor. Make sure no bugs/rodents are living there with you. Clean out your car every now and then (vacuum it, wash it, throw trash out) and get your oil changed on time. It will last longer if you take as good care of it as you would yourself or a baby.

11.) Realize there are other people in the world besides you. The world doesn’t revolve around you, believe it or not, and they matter too. Serve others and it’ll come back to you. Care about other people in real life, not just on Facebook.

12.) KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND STICK WITH IT. It’s not worth it to change yourself to fit in with everyone. You are who you are and there’s no way around it. Find yourself! Discover new bands, movies, books, places, styles, etc. until you find the ones that you like the most. It doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing or likes if you hate those things. Never sacrifice who you are for anyone. Anyone who really loves you and cares for you will accept you for who you are and help you to improve those amazing qualities you already have. LOVE YOURSELF.

13.) NEVER take your age too seriously. I know that sounds like a huge contradiction to everything I just typed but it’s true! You may be 12 or 72 but just because you may be a certain age it doesn’t define who you are. You are still fun, serious, dumb, smart, adventurous, scared, brave, silly, etc. Age is just a number. Age just says how long you’ve been on earth. It doesn’t say anything about how much you’ve experienced or changed. I’m 22 and have my moments where I still act like a 13 year old girl. You’ll always have something that makes you revert to old behaviors and that’s what makes you who you are. Love it and keep it!

All of these things are what I think it takes to grow up. Like I said earlier, I am in no way mature all the time. I still have a hard time respecting people I don't like, swallowing mean things I want to say or serving others. But I know that when I do respect people I don't like, hold my tongue when I could just as easily let something horrible loose or serve someone, I feel a lot better about life and I am definitely blessed for doing so. I don't know everything. I still have a lot of growing up to do and things to learn. But in the time that I've been alive, I’ve figured out some things and I'm sure more is coming. But for now, I’ve gone from a litte girl playing dress up…