Sunday, June 24, 2012


I am obsessed with pop culture.  Music, movies, television, etc., are my life-blood.  So naturally when I have seen a movie that I am positive is a classic, I am also 100% sure that everyone else in the English speaking world has seen it.  My thoughts and hopes of people seeing these movies or knowing where my references originate have consistently been dashed against the rock as I have been at SVU.  Most students I have met, at school, have never heard of more than half the things I talk about.  I honestly thought it was just a “bubble” thing. 

My thought of coming home to Orlando has me convinced that people would FINALLY understand what I’m talking about.  People of the world can understand my references, for once, and all will live in harmony forever.  However, in the last few days at work, I have been surprised to find out that my pop culture wisdom is basically just for me.  Needless to say, I found that it’s clearly not a bubble thing.  It has everything to do with the fact that people are uneducated fools when it comes to pop culture.  My straw that broke the camel’s back, in this case, was finding out that only 3 people I work with have seen The Princess Bride.  Three out of tens of people ranging in ages from 16-60 have seen that 1980’s classic.  My whole view of the world and life itself was shattered.  How can a person live and function in adult society today and not see The Princess Bride?!  It’s scandalous, really, and truly disappointing.  Since that fateful day, I have felt the need to run around my work place screaming “Educate yourselves!” So far, my cries and pleas for people to learn more about pop culture are in vain…just like when I try to teach my friends from college/high school about pop culture (you know who you are).

So I have decided that I will begin educating the masses through this blog post.  I have found the top 250 movies of all time (that is right, ALL TIME people) from imdb.com and you all can read it, watch these movies, etc.  There are some on that list that I think they could do without and some that I agree are important, but not THE MOST important.  I will highlight the ones that I 100% agree with and then I will make my own list of movies that will educate the world. 

IMDB List:
#4-Pulp Fiction: It’s classic Tarantino.  Watch it and learn.
#6-12 Angry Men: Classic movie about jurors on a murder trial. 
#7-Schindler’s List. Needs no explanation.
#9-Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. Also see #’s15 and 22 because they are the other 2 parts of the trilogy.  EDUCATE YOURSELVES ON GEEKDOM.
#11-14
#17-Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope as well as all the other Star Wars movies.
#19-Casablanca. It’s probably one of the most famous movies of all time.  If you haven’t seen it, do it.  If you refuse to see it, die.
#25-Raiders of the Lost Ark and every other Indiana Jones movies starring Harrison Ford ever made.
#29-Psycho. A horror/thriller movie classic.  Everyone knows the shower stabby scene and music.  Now watch the rest of the movie.
#30-It’s a Wonderful Life. You can’t go wrong when James Stewart is in a movie.
#41-Alien. An alien fetus claws its way out of a woman’s abdomen.  It’s kind of legit.
#42-The Avengers. It just came out, go see it. Tons of handsome men fighting.  Perfection in movie form.
#46-Toy Story 3. While you’re at it, see the other two.
#48-The Shining. AMERICAN HORROR CLASSIC.  “Here’s Johnny!”
#52-The Pianist. Oscar gold.
#61-Back to the Future. Needs no explanation.
#70-The Prestige. Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale, and Michael Caine: you can’t lost with them.
#82-Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It’s a movie, it’s a musical now, it’s an epic win. 
#84-Singin’ in the Rain. Gene Kelly at his finest.  Singing, dancing, and “I cayn’t styan-em.”
#94-Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi.  See #17.
#101-The Lion King. “Simba, remember….” Disney’s Golden Age of Movies. 
#102-Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. See #25.
#136-146
#151-The Artist. 2012 Oscar Gold.  It’s amazing.
#162-Gone With the Wind. It beat The Wizard of Oz for the big awards in ’39.  Plus, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
#179-Slumdog Millionaire. It’s SUCH a good story about a boy’s life story and his journey in India and on “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?”
#197-The Princess Bride.  YOU ALL MUST WATCH THIS MOVIE TO LIVE.
#208-The Exorcist. Head spinning all the way around, crab walking downstairs, and it’s a horror classic.
#217-Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Before you watch that one, watch all the HP movies.
#218-A Streetcar Named Desire. “STELLA!!”
#227-Roman Holiday. Audrey Hepburn at her finest, besides Breakfast at Tiffany’s.
#233-Rosemary’s Baby.  It’s a fascinating tale of Paranoia and pregnancy.  Watch it.

Alright, so that list is all well and good, but since this whole blog post, and blog itself, is about me and what I think will educate people, here is my PERFECT list for the educating of the masses.

Tracy’s List of Perfectly Educating the World:
-Every Disney movie ever made:
                -From Snow White to Brave. If you want to really go above and beyond, watch the silly symphonies, steamboat willy and the silent movies too.
-The ENTIRE Star Wars collection (maybe not the cartoon ones, but every other one)
-Lord of the Rings trilogy. 
-Harry Potter series. 
-Indiana Jones
                -All movies, maybe not the new one with Shia Lebouf, but the originals with Harrison Ford)
-The Princess Bride
-Gone With the Wind
-The Wizard of Oz
-ALL Mel Brooks movies, including, but not limited to:
                -Blazing Saddles                               -Robin Hood Men In Tights
                - Young Frankenstein                     -The Producers
-Monty Python Movies:
                -Monty Python and the Holy Grail            -History of the World Part 1
                -Monty Python’s Flying Circus                  -Any other one you can get your hands on
-ANYTHING by Rodgers and Hammerstein.  That includes, but is not limited to:
                -The Sound of Music                                       -Cinderella
                -The King and I                                               -South Pacific
-ANY musical that became a movie from the 1940s-1970s.  INCLUDING:
                -Bye Bye Birdie                                                  -Annie Get Your Gun
                -Seven Brides for Seven Brothers                      -My Fair Lady
                -Calamity Jane                                                  -West Side Story
                -The Pajama Game                                         -Thoroughly Modern Millie
-ANY Gene Kelly/Fred Astaire/Rock Hudson/Doris Day movie. My favorites are:
                -Singin’ in the Rain                                          -Pillow Talk
                -Funny Face                                                    -Easter Parade
                -That Touch of Mink                                       -Summer Stock
-John Hughes movies from the 1980s, and any other ‘80s teen classic.  Including, but not limited to:
                -The Breakfast Club                                        -Sixteen Candles
                -Pretty in Pink                                                 -Can’t Buy Me Love
                -St. Elmo’s Fire                                               -Say Anything
-‘90s/2000s teen movies.  Including, but not limited to:
                -She’s All That                                                   -The Election (Pick Flick!)
                -Drive Me Crazy                                                -Drop Dead Gorgeous
                -10 Things I Hate About You                             -Bring It On
                -Clueless                                                            -Never Been Kissed
                -Zoolander         
-Scary Movie Classics, including, but not limited to:
                -Psycho, The Shining, The Birds (Anything Alfred Hitchcock)
                -Signs, The Sixth Sense, The Village (Anything M. Night Shyamalan)
                -The Exorcist
                -Poltergeist
                -The Grudge Trilogy (actually, it’s kinda funny.)
-ANYTHING by Jim Henson:
                -Muppet Treasure Island                              -Muppets in Space
                -The Muppet Movie (circa 1979)                  -Muppets in Manhattan
                -The Muppets (circa 2011)                           -Muppet Christmas Carol
                -The Great Muppet Caper                           -Muppet Family Christmas

There are LOADS more movies that I haven’t added to this list, but this is pretty good to start your pop culture education with.  If anyone has more to add to the list, comment/message/email me and I’ll add them to the list!

Ready, set, EDUCATE YOURSELVES!

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Theme Parks: A Place For Observing


One of the things I like about working at a theme park is people watching.  I absolutely love people watching.  It’s like being at a people zoo or a people aquarium; fabulous.  I see people of every shape and size, wearing all levels of cover, and all ages of people.  It’s the best thing about working at a theme park. 

Amidst all these crazy people, my favorite type of people to watch at the theme park are toddlers on leashes; they are always hilarious.  There are four types of toddlers on leashes too: Happy, Dog-like, Inconsolable, Dead-Weight. 

The Happy toddlers are great because they love the backpack leash/wristband leash.  Some stay happily attached to their parent’s grip like it’s no big deal, and some prance around on the leashes like they are dogs or horses.  They love it.  Thanks to Google images, this is what they usually look like:

The Dog-Like toddlers are so funny.  They are like dogs on one of those extender leashes that have been retracted quickly by the owner.  They walk a little bit, the parents give them some slack on the leash, and they try to run for it, but are soon stopped by the hands of the leash.  They make a disgruntled face, wait a few seconds, and try again, only to face the same thing again and again.  This is what they usually look like:


The Inconsolable toddlers are really funny as well.  Generally they are trying to escape from the leash like the fire department using the jaws of life.  They tug at the straps, the leash itself, and then, in a fit of rage, drop to the ground on their knees and scream like no other.  It doesn’t matter where they are, what’s going on around them, or who is nearby; they will scream until the leash is off…or until the parent disciplines them.  This is what they generally look like:

But the best toddlers on leashes are the Dead-Weight toddlers.  They are so done with being pulled around on the leash, tricked like the Dog-Like toddlers, and have given up on crying like the Inconsolable toddlers.  They have moved to a super level that I like to call the Up level.  Remember that scene in Up where Russell is hiking with Mr. Fredricksen through the jungle and he just face-plants on the ground and says, “I’m tired, and my knee hurts…my elbow hurts and I have to go to the bathroom.” 

That is what they look like.  And then they are either dragged through the park by their parent or they are picked up and carried off.  Either way, it’s hilarious.  These kids have become theme park ninjas in the way they are able to manipulate their parents into getting exactly what they want.  And they know what they’re doing too; and I’ll tell you why.  Because you see them coming.  I’ll be at a food cart and see the kid on a leash point to the cart I’m at, selling whatever it is I’m selling.  The child is denied their pleas, they cry, give up, yank on the leash, give up, then face plant right in front of my cart.  The parent wants to know what they can do to make the child happy again.  The child points at what he/she wants, and when I get it for them, I laugh and they give me the “muahahaha, I’m awesome” look.  Brilliant children.  I hope I have a herd just like them.


Thursday, June 14, 2012

The First Chapter


Ever since I graduated from Southern Virginia University in April 2012, I’ve been asked the question that every graduate is asked, “What are you going to do now?”  HA.  Like I have a clue what I’m doing with the rest of my life.  In high school, I was preparing for college.  I got to college and I was preparing to graduate with good grades and hopefully get a good, grown-up/big-girl job.  The difference between high school and college is this: in high school, they are constantly pushing you to the next level.  College, they just want your money and push you to excel and leave everything up to you.  Sometimes, I appreciate the leaving things up to me, but in this case, I didn’t really like it that much.  So, with no real push to do much else but get a job, and no real desire to do more school after the experiences I had with senior papers and collegiate nonsense the last few weeks of college, what am I to do?  I guess I can start working, wherever I can, make money, as legally as humanly possible, and blog about the ridiculous experiences I have.  I realized in the last 22 years of life, that some of the experiences I have are so unbelievably ridiculous, that people don’t believe them sometimes.  I can’t even believe them when they happen half the time.

So I’ve decided to start a blog concerning my post-graduate life.  I have stories concerning my job, friends, and strange encounters in Orlando that are just too good for me to not share with people.  My hope with this blog is not to get notoriety or have tons of followers/readers.  I’m really hoping that these stories and experiences I share on this blog are pieces of me that people can enjoy, as well as memories that I can enjoy in the future.  One thing that I really hope happens is that since most people realize how overly dramatic I am when I tell stories, my biggest hope is that people will be able to imagine me doing the crazy things I describe in my stories, and see me saying/re-enacting these things.  So onto the first story…

Since graduating, I have completed and submitted my mission papers so I can serve a full-time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I came home from school, spent all of May getting my medical stuff done (physical, blood work, shots, wisdom teeth, dental exams, etc.), and finally on May 29, 2012, my mission papers were submitted.  All I had to do from then on was wait, think about where I could get called to serve, and wait. 

While waiting, I worked.  Not just while waiting, but over the summer and at Christmastime, I work at a local theme park.  Peak season=peak time for busy theme parks and peak heat.  Guests at the park are happy upon entrance, but throughout the day with the heat/long lines/HEAT, they get cranky and don’t treat employees particularly well.  Now, the people who work in merchandise are happy because the park guests choose to come to your store and buy something; not to mention the fact that they are in air-conditioning all day long.  People who work in food are generally miserable because the park guests HAVE to come to you to eat—everyone has to eat to survive; most of the time, you’re not air-conditioned.  I work in food.  Now, the season is picking up, lines are getting longer, temperatures are getting higher, and people are getting a little crankier.  Sometimes you can get some jokes in with the guests or get some happy guests, but most of the time, you just try to ooze happiness and kindness and get practically no results. 

On June 8, 2012, I had been working in the main restaurant in my area of the park.  Guests had been very nice that day.  Lines weren’t too long, it was extremely hot, but we were able to serve people quickly and easily, and I was able to joke around with some of the guests.  The day had been going well.  I was sent on break and as I sat down, about to take my first bite of lunch, I got a text from my mom that said: IT CAME IN THE MAIL TODAY.  I dropped my fork, start bouncing in my chair like crazy, and am dying to just scream, but soon realize there are about 65 people in the break-room.  Can’t go crazy with 65 people looking at you and instantly judging you.  I tried to contain the excitement and eat so I could finish break, go back to work, and hopefully convince my managers to let me go home early so I could open my call. It didn’t work too well.  I was so excited that I couldn’t eat without bouncing up and down and being smiley.  And I was facing a news station on the TV talking about a tornado that hit some high school graduation in Wyoming or Nebraska or somewhere like that (not exactly something you want to be bouncy and smiley around).  But it was useless. 

After break, I ran into the restaurant backroom to go back out to work and was jittering like a crazy person and blurted out, “If you wanna send people home early, SEND ME.  PLEASE LET ME GO HOME EARLY!”  It was like word vomit. 

My supervisor just laughed and said, “We’ll see.” 

I know that trick.  That usually means, “You’re crazy.  No.  Well, maybe.  Most likely no, but maybe.”  Well played, supervisor, well played indeed. 

So I go back to my location, feeling like I was greatly outsmarted, and start working again.   But as I’m cashing people out at my register, I realize that it’s really slow in the restaurant.  Too slow for me to be there. 

As if on cue, a supervisor comes over and says, “We’re closing your register.  Help clean and we’ll let you go home early.” 

AHODEEHO!!!!   I quick start cleaning and rushing everywhere like the Scrubbing Bubbles on speed and my line finishes cleaning in like 10 minutes flat. 

I run out back and say, “WE’RE DONE! WHAT NOW?!” 

“Well, I guess we can cash you out and send you home.”  VICTORY IS MINE!  Theme park slows down, I get to go home early.  I cash out quickly, and take off for wardrobe.  Now, please realize that it’s like 90+ degrees outside and wardrobe is .5 miles away from my restaurant, but I ran for wardrobe like my life depended on it.  I then perform the fastest quick change I have ever completed in my life, and book it another .5 miles to my car.

It’s 5pm on a Friday in Orlando.  How in the world am I supposed to get home quickly?  I try the highway, give up, and start weaving through the streets of Orlando in rush hour traffic.  Mind you, I really don’t know Orlando very well, so I’m just HOPING that whichever street I turn down will get me to the street that I need to be on.  I’m driving all kinds of fast and furious on the roads: I’m dodging buses, old people, slow speed limits, police cars, and pedestrians.  After what felt like 3 days, but was really maybe 40 minutes, I made it home, ran to the house, kick open the door, and fling myself on the couch to rip open the letter.  My mom instantly goes, “WAIT!  We have to call Jessica!” So she gets my sister on the phone and I have one of my friends on the phone and I rip open the envelope to see the call: Philippines Angeles Mission, Tagalog speaking.

I GOT MY MISSION CALL AND I’M GOING TO…the Philippines?!  WHAT THE FRENCH TOAST?! I’m going to ASIA?!  AND WHAT THE FREAK IS TAGALOG?!  I have never heard of this language…is this one of those countries that speaks in Clicks?  Did Greta guess right?  ASIA?!  I didn’t even remotely think of going on an Asian mission.  I was completely convinced that I was going on a mission in Europe or stateside at some visitor’s center; Asia was such a curveball.  I was in complete and total shock.  It wasn’t disappointment or anger or sadness or frustration, it was literally just plain shock.  All I could do was laugh and say, “Oh my gosh, I’m going to the Philippines.”  I instantly started texting and calling friends, family, etc. telling everyone where I would be serving.  

I didn’t have much time to let it all sink in and read the booklet because as soon as I opened it and told some friends, my mom rushed me out the door so we could go visit my sister in Miami. 

On the three hour car ride, the initial shock of being called to the Philippines wore off a little and I started to realize how serious this was!  I had just gotten my mission call.  I am for real going on a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  I leave on October 10th and I only have a few months left in Florida!  THIS IS SO CRAZY! 

I also had the urge to find the Philippines turkey from Carriage 309’s United Nations of Turkeys, but realized it was with Staci Pence, and had an even bigger urge to make a Philippines turkey.  Trapped in a car with the urge to make a turkey.  What do you do?  Ignore it, and hope it goes away.

Now that it’s been a week since receiving my mission call, I have never been surer of my desire and need to go on a mission.  Everything with my mission papers worked out so quickly and effortlessly.  I had my papers done in a month, I had all of my physical/medical work done within 3 weeks of coming to Orlando, and my interviews were done incredibly quickly.  My call came after a week and a half of having the papers submitted and I’m leaving in 4 months.  I know so many people who have had to wait for months upon months to finish their medical papers to be done and to be able to submit their paperwork.  I have been so incredibly blessed throughout this entire process!  It has been such a testimony to me of how important it is for me to serve a mission.  I know that I am needed in the Philippines, and I know that there are people there that need me, specifically, to tell them about the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.  I cannot wait to go, learn, grow, and teach!  I am so grateful for the wonderful support of friends, family, and co-workers who are just as excited for my mission as I am (even if everyone doesn’t quite understand why I’m doing it).  I love the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  I know it is the true and living Gospel of Jesus Christ on the Earth today.  I know that I will be serving as a disciple of Christ in the Philippines and I am so grateful, humbled, and excited for this opportunity!

For those of you who don’t know what serving a mission is all about and would like to know more, check out this website!